Well....I guess at the moment it is "not to sleep". I am in Coeur D'Alene, ID on a training trip and for some reason my head is racing. I turned the light off at 11:30 and woke up at 1--does that count as any sleep.
In general, I have not slept well for awhile now but I thought it was getting better. And, in general, I can say it has but tonight is a bit different. My head is congested and the house was HOT but I think its the thoughts racing through my head that really stir up the insomnia.
I had an awesome day on the bike riding the "new" course here in CDA. I was here two years ago with Ahmed and other Playtri friends (Staci, Tricia, Al, Lea, Hugo, and Trey) to train. They were all doing CDA in 2006 and I came for the knowledge and training. I think it was then that I set my sights on CDA as my first Ironman--AAA (Against Ahmed's Advice--he recommended Arizona and I will elaborate later on how this was yet another example of when he can be freaky right about some things).
I signed up last June, despite some conflicting family goals, thinking I would keep life moving until I had to make other plans. Well...the other plans took precedence and in December, Ahmed and I agreed that CDA was off the list. Well....life changed again and by the end of March, it was back on, with only 3 months to prepare after almost 5 months off (with the exception of the Hawaii camp). The plan: train as hard as we could and then decide where we are. In the meantime, grab a community slot for AZ in November and use CDA as a "training" race.
A "training" race???? Was he kidding? I can be humble about a lot of things, but can I handle coming to an IM and not finish because of a goal down the road? Would I feel compelled to explain to the world why I didn't finish? Or just keep it inside myself as the events of late have made me realize, in the end....its all just a stupid race? I am still not sure how I feel about all of it but I am at least sticking to the plan of "Let's train like hell for three months and then see where we are".
Thus....the trip to CDA and here I am, one loop of the new bike course under my belt and....well, I'm nervovus. The bike has never been my forte and this course is technical and challenging---pretty, but hard. Given where I am in training, the best I could hope for would be 7 hours on the bike alone---holy bat caves, its going to be a long day! Ahmed knows my weakness and wants to play to my strengths and this course doesn't do that--AZ might, thus his plan. But, in a girly fashion, I like pretty and this place has Arizona beat hands down! See......
In general, I have not slept well for awhile now but I thought it was getting better. And, in general, I can say it has but tonight is a bit different. My head is congested and the house was HOT but I think its the thoughts racing through my head that really stir up the insomnia.
I had an awesome day on the bike riding the "new" course here in CDA. I was here two years ago with Ahmed and other Playtri friends (Staci, Tricia, Al, Lea, Hugo, and Trey) to train. They were all doing CDA in 2006 and I came for the knowledge and training. I think it was then that I set my sights on CDA as my first Ironman--AAA (Against Ahmed's Advice--he recommended Arizona and I will elaborate later on how this was yet another example of when he can be freaky right about some things).
I signed up last June, despite some conflicting family goals, thinking I would keep life moving until I had to make other plans. Well...the other plans took precedence and in December, Ahmed and I agreed that CDA was off the list. Well....life changed again and by the end of March, it was back on, with only 3 months to prepare after almost 5 months off (with the exception of the Hawaii camp). The plan: train as hard as we could and then decide where we are. In the meantime, grab a community slot for AZ in November and use CDA as a "training" race.
A "training" race???? Was he kidding? I can be humble about a lot of things, but can I handle coming to an IM and not finish because of a goal down the road? Would I feel compelled to explain to the world why I didn't finish? Or just keep it inside myself as the events of late have made me realize, in the end....its all just a stupid race? I am still not sure how I feel about all of it but I am at least sticking to the plan of "Let's train like hell for three months and then see where we are".
Thus....the trip to CDA and here I am, one loop of the new bike course under my belt and....well, I'm nervovus. The bike has never been my forte and this course is technical and challenging---pretty, but hard. Given where I am in training, the best I could hope for would be 7 hours on the bike alone---holy bat caves, its going to be a long day! Ahmed knows my weakness and wants to play to my strengths and this course doesn't do that--AZ might, thus his plan. But, in a girly fashion, I like pretty and this place has Arizona beat hands down! See......
Sorry for the self-pic...Van Gogh I am not!
I wonder if part of achieving greatness (as defined by YOUR goals) is a type of subservience to others who know better. And how do you balance that with ego? I wrestle with feelings of, "well...maybe that provides a safe out for doing crappy here" or "I don't know if I COULD run a marathon after two loops on that course".
I guess time will tell and the good news is, I have made it not really my decision to make. I will do my part in the "train like hell for 3 months plan" and see where we go. I have one month finished and this trip has provided motivation and focus for month two, which I imagine will be more challenging than month one. As a side note, month 1 was "easy"--regain focus and habits that will help deliver success. Now month two its time to turn it up a notch. As I type this, I realize November is the real "goal", I guess this is month 2 of 8...not just 3. I will regroup each month to further channel the focus and concenetration.
Well...I guess I'll try that sleep thing again...hope it works a little better for me this time. More to come...maybe as part of my new focus I'll post more.....maybe.....no promises.
I wonder if part of achieving greatness (as defined by YOUR goals) is a type of subservience to others who know better. And how do you balance that with ego? I wrestle with feelings of, "well...maybe that provides a safe out for doing crappy here" or "I don't know if I COULD run a marathon after two loops on that course".
I guess time will tell and the good news is, I have made it not really my decision to make. I will do my part in the "train like hell for 3 months plan" and see where we go. I have one month finished and this trip has provided motivation and focus for month two, which I imagine will be more challenging than month one. As a side note, month 1 was "easy"--regain focus and habits that will help deliver success. Now month two its time to turn it up a notch. As I type this, I realize November is the real "goal", I guess this is month 2 of 8...not just 3. I will regroup each month to further channel the focus and concenetration.
Well...I guess I'll try that sleep thing again...hope it works a little better for me this time. More to come...maybe as part of my new focus I'll post more.....maybe.....no promises.
1 comment:
I like your outlook, thing is you did great on the bike yesterday and will do great again in June. It is tough but the scenery will make that easier and I know having Dan and the girls waiting for you (as well as the posse from TX) will help you through it. Regardless crossing the finish line does make anyone an Ironman, rather it is the sacrifices you made getting there...many try yet find reasons (or excuses) why they can't..you choose I can.
It has been a fun trip here and today we will conquer the course again....making much needed deposits in our confidence bank account which we can with draw from on 6/22.
Post a Comment